Chapter 10: 3 Lessons my 20's taught me ✨
Hello!
How are you and how was your week? Before you read ahead, take a minute and reflect on your week and write down 5 blessings from it.
I had a lovely week myself.
By the way, I got my hair re-colored lol. I added some mahogany tones to it because I wasn’t feeling the dark brown vibe. I just love a fresh hair makeover!
When was the last time you changed your hair color?
What’s On My Mind? 💭
As you can read from the subject of this email, I wanted to talk about 3 core lessons my 20s taught me. I was thinking about how I wish I had known these things when I was a 20-year-old and then I thought of you, wondering if this would help you make better decisions as you come into your own.
Failure is the stepping stone to success
In my early 20’s, I learned about being independent. I had no option but to work early on. Sure, I missed out on the causal “fun” that 20-year-olds have but you know what, I’m so thankful for that storm in my life. I don’t think I would have pushed myself to where I am today if it wasn’t for my downfall. If you’re in a season of failure and you feel like this is your rock bottom, get excited because the best times of your life are coming. You have to give it your best and try to get out of the circumstance you’re in and be consistent at it. I promise you there will be a day of release.
Not getting that job is okay, your relationship failing is okay, not having money for some time is okay, battling that health issue is temporary - you will see the light.
We are conditioned in school itself, that ‘failing’ is bad and that you will be looked down upon if you are not a topper in class. I wish they celebrated the children who couldn’t learn like the rest of them. It would have changed our entire perspective on life.
Failing is not embarrassing, and neither will you remain there forever.
Partner selection is crucial - you have to know yourself first.
We get in and out of many relationships in our 20s. But I encourage you to take a moment and get to know yourself first. If I had a chance to go back into my 20s, I would try and get to know myself even better. Try and find solid ground before you get into a relationship. Understanding who you are, your boundaries, your non-negotiables, your core values, your take on faith, your relationship with money - all of these are so important to seek before you decide to date somebody.
There is no rule that you have to find your life partner in college. I know you will be in a lot of friend circles where you may be the only one who chooses not to date but it’s temporary discomfort. We’re always blown away when we meet people who are the anomaly and have taken the off-beat path, but we are scared to take it sometimes.
This is your sign, be the anomaly and make choices that YOU want to make.
Know your worth, and know what you want and need in a partner and only then you can have clarity. I’m glad that I was able to find someone who was level-headed and made my 20s truly amazing, it’s rare. No matter what happened to us today, I don’t regret any of it.
Protect yourself and guard your core values, it must be aligned with your life partner and who you decide to spend most of your time with.
The decisions you make in your 20’s will define your 30’s. I urge you to spend time with yourself. It’s this golden period of lesser responsibilities. The more you invest in yourself the likelihood of regretting your decisions becomes less because you are then, confident in who you are.
Don’t put timelines on your life
I put a lot of timelines on myself when I was nearing the end of my 20s. I wanted to ‘move on’ to the next phase of my life because I thought that that was what it was supposed to be. Timelines are man-made and it’s not supposed to define your life. I urge you to go with the flow. Let go of social expectations and chasing what other people have. Focus on your life and how you want to design it. You can achieve everything you desire if you let go of ‘timelines’.
Give yourself grace and step back. There is so much to take in. Especially today, we are so consumed by many things around us that we get carried away in what is truly meant for us.
So, now I have learned to let go of all timelines. Letting go has given me peace. Knowing that I don’t have a deadline for anything is freeing.
Bible Verse of the Week
Matthew 5 : 8-10 (My favorite chapter in the bible)
Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Weekly Finds 🔎
Purchases🛍️: You know I love organizers! This one in particular is my favorite kind. It’s a wicker basket, I use this to store Abby’s toys. It does the job while looking aesthetically pleasing!
A Meal I enjoyed 🍤
My mum's coconut prawn with neer dosa! YUMMIEST dish!
Penny for your thoughts💭
What are some lessons you learned from your 20s?
That’s all from me this Sunday!
Love,
Mals 💕
I'm 23 and this is exactly what I need to stick on.In today's fast-pacing world it is difficult to not get lost,in order to keep up with the trend and everything going on it is difficult to not lose that self-belief.Constantly feeling like now it's late to change or to start something new.However,I really look up to you ,you are so authentic and different as far as I have watched you.Keep going! Keep up the good work!!!!! Lots of love ❤️
Well said Malz.. Even I feel the same about my 20s. If I had a choice to go to my 20s again and make the right choices. But, anyways.. those choices have given me some experiences which where necessary in a way. So, no regrets. Just opting for a good life each day and I'm grateful for it. Love you Malzzz...